Shenanigans around the globe

  Brighton/Hove   I have walked 25.6km, in 50ish hours. I have spent 8 hours modelling in a (boudoir) photoshoot.  I have laid under Orion’s Belt listening to the waves crash and then trickle & retreat over shimmering, breathing rocks.  I have watched the sun come up while the moon is still high in the sky, slowly relinquishing attention.  I have eaten alone in a fancy(ish) restaurant, absorbed in my book, and felt content - not lonely.  I have a pocket full of stones & seaglass. I have fallen deeper in love with Erin Morgenstern and her wonderful words. I have had the best ice-cream of my life. I have been served by a guy in a pale pink feathery skirt & white fishnet top in a “normal” bar and fucking love that…the mulled wine was good too. I have slept solidly two nights in a row, for the first time in a long time.  I have felt happy, content and at peace in my own company.  I have had one moment of panic and fled a taco joint.  I have been soothed by the sea.  I have seen

  I find it somewhat ironic that since sharing an old post for Endometriosis Awareness Month, I’ve been in increasing amounts of pain. So much so that my voice is husky and I was sent home early from work. The fatigue has dropped like a curtain behind my eyes, eyes that are ever brimming with tears of frustration, sadness and hormones.   I should rewind a bit as I realise I’ve not posted since before my second surgery.  In October 2019 I had excision surgery with an endo specialist. I was in hospital over night, on oxygen and good pain killers. Apart from one stupid doctor - who told me I was infertile, late at night, while on my own, mistakenly - it was a much better experience compared to my first surgery. She got all the deep spots of endo and checked my fallopian tubes which are all clear.  Since then I had mainly good, pain free/super low pain days. I’ve learnt my triggers (processed cheap meat, too much dairy m

I was inspired by a tweet by Life-With-Endo to write another post about living with endometriosis (I promise I'll write about more trips...once I go on some). Everything I say is from my own account, I am not speaking for all endo-warriors. I have also learnt a lot about this condition since my original post. (Incase you don’t make it to the end...yes endo sucks but I ultimately love my life) There’s a common misconception that endo is basically extremely painful periods, this is false. The cells are not exactly the same as those that line the uterus but they are similar. They do bleed during menstruation, this is painful as the blood has nowhere to go so it just pools in different areas of the abdomen cavity. These patches of endo can be super deep in the tissue, causing scaring, fibroids and nodules. These in turn can cause pain at anytime, this can range from cramp to feeling like you’re being stabbed with a hot poker.  I have rectovaginal endo, it’s in my Pouch of

So, after leaving a nightshift to go to a&e as I thought my appendix was rupturing (very different pain from endo) I’ve been diagnosed with a 4cm ovarian cyst (that’s walnut sized to help you picture it).  The doctors were nice, the nurses not so much. After almost 5 hours in a&e, in which a cannula was inserted into my arm and bloods were taken. I was told to go home and return in the morning for a CT scan to look for kidney stones. I asked if they’d scan my uterus/ovaries too as I was pretty sure it was gynae related, she said no. Luckily for me organs are pretty squished down there and my ovaries showed up on the scan anyways.  It took them a long time to offer me pain relief, the first being a diclofenac suppository (apparently that route is more effective for kidney stones). The nurse let me do it myself, which lessened my embarrassment, although F couldn’t contain his laughter when the doc told us that’s what she was prescribing. It did nothing for my pain. I eve

Thought it was time I wrote a follow up to my endometriosis post. Today is the day I got 1000 views on it! super chuffed! Today is day two of my period. The worst day. My last post was written on day two post-op so I like the similarity of that. I'm currently curled up on the couch, under a blanket i've had 12ish years (its been washed a few times) with a heat pack on my abdomen. I have taken co-codamol with minimal effect. I also have the hiccups but that is neither here nor there, just annoying. I've got cramps that are shooting pains down my leg, wrapping around my sides and back and knocking on my spine. If I sit totally still, with my legs bent, I can almost pretend the cramp isn't that bad, TV and chatting can distract me from it so I feel almost normal...although my usual right sided stabby pain is creeping in. Since my operation two and a half weeks ago, my pain has been worse not better. I'm hopeful this is all part of my recovery. Having spoken to fell

Decided to get super personal...expect gross photos, TMI and swearing (I'm kinda angry ok?) So today is Post-op day 2, but I'll get back to that. Just wanna say, F has been and continues to be, amazing. He looks after me very well and rarely fails to make me laugh when things are super bad. For about a year I've had chronic pain; - Random stabby pain in my lower right side which although I've got used to it, took me to a&e twice as I was convinced it was my appendix (it wasn't). - Occasional stabby pain in my left/middle. - Thee WORST menstrual cramps. Which start about a week before my bleeding and last until a few days after it stops, so about two weeks (every month!). These cramps cause tears, crouching in the laundry cupboard at work (if I even make it in to work), lying in the shower (often crying too), not being able to get out of bed etc etc. - Lots of headaches. - Difficultly peeing/pooping during periods. - for even longer I’ve had left hip