I go to seek a great perhaps

I was thinking a few nights ago that I didn't think this experience would change me like I was expecting it to. However the last couple of days I can feel this change happening. I feel so lucky for all I have at home, because really it does come down to luck (or a higher power or whatever else you may believe in) no one chooses where they are born or to what family. I know many people who think they were born in the wrong era, or in the wrong country as they feel much more at home elsewhere. But then again home is where the heart is, not where it started beating.

One of the nurses on my ward invited me to her house for dinner, which of course I accepted eagerly, she lives alone with her husband and two daughters living in Blantyre (she has been on the waiting list for a job at one of the government hospitals in Blantyre for 10 years). I think she gets lonely as she is very chatty and loves company (often taking me to the labs or pharmacy when she goes). She made nsima, a tomato sauce with eggs and some mustard leaves, all on a chackoban (or something like that)  its like a small round BBQ. She also heats her water to bathe with on it. It just triggered my emotions, at home I can have hot water just by turning a tap, or cold water. I can get any fruit or veg I fancy (not just what has grown that season). I can have four pots cooking stuff at once while something else is in the oven and/or the microwave. I can have a steaming hot shower whenever I feel like it (or a cold one). I can go out after the sun has gone down without much fear. I can get food delivered to my door. I can further my education and get a degree for free. I can go to any hospital and receive free treatment. I am so lucky. 

Everyone here (everyone I have met) laughs so much more than everyone back home, in the duty room on the ward it would be unusual to go 30 minutes without someone laughing. Everyone seems so much happier. I don't think I have heard anyone moan or complain about anything (apart from how long it takes some of the doctors to do ward round). In Glasgow people are always moaning, I guess it is a very British thing to do. Even babies strapped to women's backs crammed in a minibus don't cry.

I can feel my thought process changing, I feel humbled a lot by the smallest thing. I won't make the smallest bit of difference to Malawi but it has definitely made a difference to me. My actions will probably not change, and if they do it undoubtably won't last long. But I can feel a shift within myself.

I have always felt a pull towards this great continent, maybe because I was born here, maybe because of all the wonderful and crazy stories I've heard from my parents. I will definitely cherish the next five/six weeks, which will fly by, and I will definitely return. To quote David Livingstone my heart belongs in Africa.