Shenanigans around the globe

Paris , the city of love. I was there to meet a great love of mine, my bestie babe, Bat - a nickname acquired long ago that’s since been etched, permanently, on our skin. Seeing her run along the train platform to envelop me in a big hug remains a highlight of my year. Platonic love is arguably the truest form of love.  We stayed in the bohemian district, Montmartre, in the cutest (air bnb) apartment, with a private balcony, a tiny lift and the inability to see the ground while peering out the bathroom window from the 6th floor. Our first dinner ended up being buttery crepes full of veg, in a wee place down some stairs, in a cobbled alley, where most tables came with a chess board and the chairs were rickety.  It was delicious, as were we as we noticed a few mosquitoes eyeing us up. I was woken up by Bat, on the hunt for a mosquito that was whining around our heads, luckily -after a few crashes and choice words- she vanquished the beast and we returned to the land of nod. Coff...

  Brighton/Hove   I have walked 25.6km, in 50ish hours. I have spent 8 hours modelling in a (boudoir) photoshoot.  I have laid under Orion’s Belt listening to the waves crash and then trickle & retreat over shimmering, breathing rocks.  I have watched the sun come up while the moon is still high in the sky, slowly relinquishing attention.  I have eaten alone in a fancy(ish) restaurant, absorbed in my book, and felt content - not lonely.  I have a pocket full of stones & seaglass. I have fallen deeper in love with Erin Morgenstern and her wonderful words. I have had the best ice-cream of my life. I have been served by a guy in a pale pink feathery skirt & white fishnet top in a “normal” bar and fucking love that…the mulled wine was good too. I have slept solidly two nights in a row, for the first time in a long time.  I have felt happy, content and at peace in my own company.  I have had one moment of panic and fled a taco joint.  ...

  I find it somewhat ironic that since sharing an old post for Endometriosis Awareness Month, I’ve been in increasing amounts of pain. So much so that my voice is husky and I was sent home early from work. The fatigue has dropped like a curtain behind my eyes, eyes that are ever brimming with tears of frustration, sadness and hormones.   I should rewind a bit as I realise I’ve not posted since before my second surgery.  In October 2019 I had excision surgery with an endo specialist. I was in hospital over night, on oxygen and good pain killers. Apart from one stupid doctor - who told me I was infertile, late at night, while on my own, mistakenly - it was a much better experience compared to my first surgery. She got all the deep spots of endo and checked my fallopian tubes which are all clear.  Since then I had mainly good, pain free/super low pain days. I’ve learnt my triggers (processed cheap mea...

I was inspired by a tweet by Life-With-Endo to write another post about living with endometriosis (I promise I'll write about more trips...once I go on some). Everything I say is from my own account, I am not speaking for all endo-warriors. I have also learnt a lot about this condition since my original post. (Incase you don’t make it to the end...yes endo sucks but I ultimately love my life) There’s a common misconception that endo is basically extremely painful periods, this is false. The cells are not exactly the same as those that line the uterus but they are similar. They do bleed during menstruation, this is painful as the blood has nowhere to go so it just pools in different areas of the abdomen cavity. These patches of endo can be super deep in the tissue, causing scaring, fibroids and nodules. These in turn can cause pain at anytime, this can range from cramp to feeling like you’re being stabbed with a hot poker.  I have rectovaginal endo, it’s in my Pouch of...

So, after leaving a nightshift to go to a&e as I thought my appendix was rupturing (very different pain from endo) I’ve been diagnosed with a 4cm ovarian cyst (that’s walnut sized to help you picture it).  The doctors were nice, the nurses not so much. After almost 5 hours in a&e, in which a cannula was inserted into my arm and bloods were taken. I was told to go home and return in the morning for a CT scan to look for kidney stones. I asked if they’d scan my uterus/ovaries too as I was pretty sure it was gynae related, she said no. Luckily for me organs are pretty squished down there and my ovaries showed up on the scan anyways.  It took them a long time to offer me pain relief, the first being a diclofenac suppository (apparently that route is more effective for kidney stones). The nurse let me do it myself, which lessened my embarrassment, although F couldn’t contain his laughter when the doc told us that’s what she was prescribing. It did nothing for my pa...

Thought it was time I wrote a follow up to my endometriosis post. Today is the day I got 1000 views on it! super chuffed! Today is day two of my period. The worst day. My last post was written on day two post-op so I like the similarity of that. I'm currently curled up on the couch, under a blanket i've had 12ish years (its been washed a few times) with a heat pack on my abdomen. I have taken co-codamol with minimal effect. I also have the hiccups but that is neither here nor there, just annoying. I've got cramps that are shooting pains down my leg, wrapping around my sides and back and knocking on my spine. If I sit totally still, with my legs bent, I can almost pretend the cramp isn't that bad, TV and chatting can distract me from it so I feel almost normal...although my usual right sided stabby pain is creeping in. Since my operation two and a half weeks ago, my pain has been worse not better. I'm hopeful this is all part of my recovery. Having spoken to fell...

Decided to get super personal...expect gross photos, TMI and swearing (I'm kinda angry ok?) So today is Post-op day 2, but I'll get back to that. Just wanna say, F has been and continues to be, amazing. He looks after me very well and rarely fails to make me laugh when things are super bad. For about a year I've had chronic pain; - Random stabby pain in my lower right side which although I've got used to it, took me to a&e twice as I was convinced it was my appendix (it wasn't). - Occasional stabby pain in my left/middle. - Thee WORST menstrual cramps. Which start about a week before my bleeding and last until a few days after it stops, so about two weeks (every month!). These cramps cause tears, crouching in the laundry cupboard at work (if I even make it in to work), lying in the shower (often crying too), not being able to get out of bed etc etc. - Lots of headaches. - Difficultly peeing/pooping during periods. - for even longer I’ve had left hip ...

Going strong with the whole30... Day 11 - I am in between two nightshifts, didn't eat last night except to snack on cashew nuts, they kept me going, I normally graze on hospital crackers and the occasional chocolate you find in most wards, I wasn't even tempted. Didn't sleep as long as I'd of liked but slept solidly. Going to have some eggs (when I force myself out of bed) while I wait for the Aussie one to bring home dinner supplies. Trying coconut oil in my coffee, it's meant to release the caffeine more slowly so it lasts longer (it binds to the fat cells). It's actually quite nice. Day 12 - Just had a banana for breakfast (at 5pm following nightshift) it tasted so sweet! Can't get the taste out of my mouth. I see this as a good thing as hopefully it will keep  me off actual sugary junk (I have no cravings for these things). I'm really enjoying cooking, I always have but used to think it required so much effort but there's heaps of things you ...

To continue on with day 4 on the whole30...dinner was delicious, it helped sate the rage monster...for a short while. It then exploded, I'm lucky to be alive (not as lucky as the Aussie one to still be alive - in my defence his rage monster was just as bad). A restless, warm night ensued with little sleep and lots of tossing followed by being wide awake at 4:30...I had to be up at 5 anyway for work That leads me onto day 5: The rage is contained. I sat next to a woman eating a banana, so loudly I was almost impressed and not once did I think about punching her in the face...that said a woman's damp jacket kept touching my bare arm on the tram and I wanted to rip it out her grasp and throw it out the window. The withdrawal headaches are settling in now, I fear the Aussie one might not make it through the night, he's currently slumped on the couch. I guess that's my cue to go make dinner (pan fried salmon, broccoli & sweet potato). Why is food such a major feature...

I'm currently on day 4 of the whole30 elimination diet and as I'm filled with rage (hormonal related as well diet related as I'm day 1 of something else) I thought I'd share my experience, i'll write as i go along. First let me explain what the whole30 is, basically you eliminate dairy, legumes, grains, alcohol, all sugar and all processed foods from your diet for 30 days and then reintroduce them gradually to see how your body reacts to them. I get bloated regularly and I'm never too sure on the cause so thought this would help. The Aussie one and myself have been eating pretty poorly recently, lots of oven foods (chicken goujons, garlic bread etc) and take-out, so decided to "reset" our mind sets and relationship to food. We are both hoping to the lose weight during this process but my main goal is to become healthier and energised (also you aren't allowed to weigh yourself). Basically its paleo (meat, veg and fruit) without being allowed to ma...

On Monday (the 7th) the real work began, I had to do an emergency first response refresher as my certification had lapsed. The day was spent, watching a DVD, reading theory and applying it in practice scenarios. It was a lot of CPR and the like. The class room has aircon but that didn't prevent me from becoming a sweaty mess doing CPR for at least 15 minutes and then repeatedly in different situations ( like finding Angus - my instructor - on the floor with his legs up on a fallen over table and covered in chairs with the word blood written on his leg and arm) the bruises on my knees stayed for weeks. Always turn exams over...I did the first page no problem only to be told I'd answered 11 questions wrong...highly embarrassing for a trained nurse, turned out it was 1 wrong and 10 I missed on the back which I then completed. I then started the theory for the rescue diver course. Tuesday was full of fun diving. Wednesday I started rescue, the morning was spent doing theory a...